Allowing Granddad to be Granddad
Nelson Kamithi, primary care giver, earns praise for his care and compassion
Sometimes we don’t know a good thing until we experience it. And convincing a loved one that they will enjoy the help of a home health caregiver is not easy duty if Granddad is “set in his ways”.
Janelle Ansell, a license Long Term Care Administrator, witnessed this familiar drama unfold in her own family as she watched her parents struggle to provide the support and care needed by her grandfather described by Ansell as “one tough customer.”
“For the last five years or so my parents have been helping my grandfather to remain living in his house,” said Ansell. “They’ve been over there at least three to four times per week cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc. My grandmother passed away about four years ago. This, of course, increased their need to support my grandfather who had refused to move to an assisted living community or to accept any other kind of help.”
“Needless to say, my parents were quite burned out with caring so much for him as well as my wonderful nephew who is over to their house every day before and after school,” said Ansell. “My parents truly are of the ‘sandwich generation’.”
“I’m guessing it was starting to affect their relationship a little bit because my dad wanted to get help sooner and I think my mom felt guilty and was reluctant to have anyone else care for her father for a variety of reasons,” she said.
“Approximately five weeks ago my parents finally relented and took a stand that my grandfather either move to an assisted living community, or accept home health help in order to remain in his home,” said Ansell, “and to my great surprise my grandfather has embraced the home health staff from Wesley!”
A companion brings the health of friendship
“The primary care aide that is with my grandfather 40 hours a week is Nelson Kamithi,” said Ansell, “ My grandfather has grown to accept and respect him, and my parents are very thrilled that they can rely so heavily on Nelson.”
“I can tell you that my parents speak extremely highly of him and are so very appreciative they can depend on such a kind and caring person to not only provide the ADLs (activities of daily living) my grandfather needs every day, but also to provide the companionship he was resistant to,” she said.
“Mom sees that Dad is not miserable now because he likes Nelson and has accepted him as a companion as well as an aide,” said Ansell, “ which is just a thrill. My grandparents have travelled all over the world a couple of times so I think getting to talk to Nelson about that is fun for my grandfather,” she said, “they are bonding.”
A companion doesn’t alter or diminish family roles
Reversing the caregiver role between child and parent can feel like a burden for the parent as well as the adult child. In this case by introducing a primary care aide to cook, clean, and bathe for him, he feels more independent and the filial roles are preserved. Granddad can still be Granddad with all his dignity intact.
–ilenelittle for Wesley Homes
February 4th, 2010 at 11:50 am
We are proud to have Nelson represent Wesley Homes Home Health. His dedication and compassionate care is a huge asset for all of us in home health and most importantly to the clients and residents we serve. Thank you Nelson for being a kind and genuine care giver we appreciate you!